With the pressures of life, we find ourselves persevering through difficult obstacles and challenges in life. However, there comes a time when we need to stop and seek counseling and support, particularly when a difficulty surfaces that is seemingly unsurmountable. We cannot push through this. We need counseling, support and assistance from professionals. It is important to recognize when we cannot provide this assistance ourselves and need psychiatric care. Starting a job in this frame of mind would be disastrous, and is not taking care of our well-being or our wellness.
I’d like to tell you a story from my past that will perhaps assist you in dealing with an insurmountable problem, one that we are seeing as now common in the workplace. It is not uncommon for people to shy away from those who have mental illness. To think them different than us. When in all reality, we all have some kind of dysfunctionality in our life, both personal and professional, (that brings out the worst in us) with coworkers, parents and siblings. There is nothing to be ashamed about. We are all in different places and stages in our healing and learning about ourselves.
Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice. The precipice can be standing on the rim of a volcano or it can be at the top of a mountain. Either way, a choice needs to be made. Let’s hope this person makes the right choice. You see, if you’re standing on the precipice, on the rim of the volcano and allow your emotions to run freely and without restraint, the rage that has been building inside, brings out the worst in you. It’s the psychotic break, the underlying psychopathy or sociopathy. However, if you are standing at the top of the mountain, and you choose an act of bravery instead, you have made a good choice. You have chosen to control your emotions, your reactions and your behavior. The outcome is good for yourself and for others.
What decides whether you make one choice or the other? If you allow rage or another negative emotion, such as fear to drive you to act irresponsibly, recklessly and allow it to consume you; you have now engaged a part of your brain called the amygdala. This part of the brain is the panic/I’m gonna die – part of the brain. 90 seconds is all it takes to commit an act of bravery or vengeance. This person loses their mind temporarily due to the circumstances that are out of their control, that are happening (a natural occurrence) in their brain.
Before we move further, there are a few terms we need to cover. These are terms that I’ve coined as part of my work in the anti-fraud industry.
“Juxtaposition of awry”: The very moment in which something is not working out the way it was planned. There is a snafu. Part of the plan didn’t have a contingency if things went south. It is a scheme that was devised, however, with many holes that were not considered.
“Point of realization”: It is the sudden realization that a plan did not work out. Now, there is a consequence. It’s what makes your heart start pounding when you realize that you did not consider, you did not have the best interests in mind for someone, that you assumed the worst of a situation or a person and now ….
“Lightning bolt epiphany”: This is insight that occurs after the fact. It is the sudden moment where everything is made clear, where there is clarity during the chaos, confusion and destruction. It’s the point of realization that something has occurred too late. Because it comes after the fact, after the damage was caused. “We were so focused on X, that we failed to see the incoming consequences, the result of X, and how we made a grave choice.”
This leads me to my next point: “Past the point of no return”: You have just made a horrible, terrible decision. There is no going back. You can’t change what you did, what you offered or what you just paid for. Now the consequences of the burden lie squarely on your shoulders.
What causes the amygdala to kick in?
1. At the juxtaposition of awry
2. When the circumstances of life cause a relationship to end abruptly.
3. Learning about a sudden death, a freak accident, a fatal accident of a family member.
4. Events spiraling out of control that culminate to “the point of realization.” This is the sudden – “I’m going to jail,” “I’m about to lose everything,” “I’m going bankrupt,” “my house is foreclosing,” or “this has been going on for how long?”
5. The lightning bolt insight:
Some examples:
A drinking problem that results in a DUI, causing a person to lose their job, have an affair, get into a fight, arrested and sent to jail due to their challenging behavior, that circles back to the drinking problem. It’s the lightning bolt epiphany, that you were part of a problem that caused a business to go out of business. It’s the lightning bolt epiphany that you were part of a problem that caused confusion, chaos and destruction. Now you have to face the consequences of your challenging behavior, resulting in jail time or a lump sum payout. We are talking about tens of thousands here.
So, you see, it’s a sudden turning of events, that triggers the amygdala into thinking that it’s a life-or-death scenario, that we must live at all costs, by any means necessary. And, it’s for that 90 seconds that we have an important choice to make through challenging circumstances.
It can also create a difficult life transition for coworkers. They are not the only ones affected. There’s the family, the friends and colleagues. Many people are affected.
You can save lives or you can end them. It’s all based on the difficult choices that you make during chaos or a natural occurrence in life. Some things are just completely out of our control, such as a tsunami, even a natural occurrence that destroys our finances. Both cause destruction, but it’s what we make of it through the chaos that determines how we live our life.
Will you lead or will you continue to follow the crowd?
At the juxtaposition of awry, please make note, that when you encounter the point of realization in which you feel discouraged, hopeless and bereft, you have a choice to make. Either you make the best of a difficult life transition or you turn to hate and crime. For every bad choice, for every plan that goes awry, for every bad decision you make, there is a consequence.
PC: LuckyTD
