It’s like a slow draw on a cigar.
Minute changes, over time. Small changes that lead to bigger things. Like accumulating snow. It starts out small, collects over time and next thing you know, 8 inches of snow are on the ground, the wind has picked up swirling snow sweeping it into high drifts along the driveway.
Small projects. Small changes. Small signs of healing, of growth. A setback. A mistake made under stress. Getting back up again. Keep moving forward. Making a major decision. Taking steps towards a goal. Making a goal a passion. Looking at a different life, without some people in it.
It’s standing near a fault line, and watching as one by one people leave your life. Marriage, moving away, growing apart, death, divorce, a spouse ripped apart by an affair, false accusations, an intent to cause harm, malice by a family member. The people – family, friends, spouse, your pets; the places – the home you grew up in, the park you used to exercise in, had family reunions and picnics in; the holiday places you used to visit with family; the things – the family traditions.
The road in which you are standing begins to break apart, with massive chunks taken away, taken out - immediately. Some changes are sheared clean off – your life has been saved. You have been spared from disaster.
It is normal to be afraid of the magnitude of the earthquake. The drama is leaving. You are headed towards a peaceful life. But first, all this negative needs to clear. Your job is to let go. Change is difficult, especially when it happens all at one time. The only thing you have left is self-respect and dignity. Hold onto those two things. It’s when you lose everything, the people that mean the most to you, that you thought you couldn’t live without, that things become strikingly clear. The chaos, confusion, disruption and discouragement that used to be a daily routine, no longer exists. That’s when you become fearless. It is the catalyst that catapults you out of your comfort zone.
Even though you feel massive emotional pain, you will heal. Live life fearlessly, not recklessly. A friend from years ago used to say, ‘Julie lives with bold courage.’ You too can live with bold courage. Stand up in difficult situations. No backing down during confrontation. Confront those bullies and stalkers. Have the guts to tell someone those five little words.
It’s praying for courage. It’s praying for protection. “I’m covered in the blood of Jesus Christ, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My grace is sufficient for your, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
It’s a painful process. God sees everything you went through, how they treated you, how they intentionally caused you harm, acted with malice, attempted to thwart your livelihood, tried to get you pregnant. He sees you letting go, silently, in peace. He wants you to take care of yourself now. Letting go will hurt you more than it will hurt them. The mass exodus of people leaving your life will create a void. Make the best of a worsening situation by deliberately choosing things that you know to be better for you.
God only knows what you’ve been through.
Change is for the better. New things, people, a beginning, routines and friendships come to replace the old things. It’s a matter of timing. It’s a matter of outlasting your enemies. It is you who is the only one left standing. Your changing upsets the entire family system of how things used to be.
“It may not be what I wanted, but it is what happened. It was because of me changing, growing.” Not everyone is going to like or be happy about the change in you. Some may try to usher you out of existence. That’s why you decided to let them go.
The change betters you, significantly. Others see the dramatic improvement in your personality. They see how the effect of letting go has created massive change in your life – for the better – for good.
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