Picking up or sensing what another person is feeling can misfire and lead to faulty assumptions. Asking questions can dispel suspicion and doubt. In any type of relationship – personal or professional – an employee may pick up or sense that the boss does not like them, causing feelings of sadness, disappointment or anything in between. The employee may then pull back, disengage or distance themselves. The boss may misinterpret this behavior and make the inference that the employee is doubting them and start to look for behaviors that confirm their suspicion. This assumption may lead the boss to letting the employee go. The employee is confused and wonders why the boss is insistent to help them find work elsewhere, yet give them a good reference.
In employee-boss situations, it is important for the employee to voice their concern to determine if there was any wrongdoing, if the behavior needs to change and how to move forward differently. Either way, communication needs to happen.
Several ways to start the conversation?
What You are Picking Up on Scenario #1
In another workplace instance, a boss felt a strong attraction to an applicant, said he wasn’t hiring, but asked her on a date instead. He had a strong desire to protect her. He hired her anyway, did not reveal his feelings and when she left the company after the contract expired, she told him she had fallen in love with him and saw a future with him. He had no idea his feelings were reciprocated, and you can imagine the look of shock. He shared with her his reciprocated feelings.
What You are Picking Up On Scenario #2
Now, in an alternate scenario, the boss became scared at the depth of the connection, as his usual relationships were based on physical attraction only, and a high degree of materialism, without depth of character and integrity. He wasn’t used to someone trustworthy and loyal. Out of fear he backed away, losing the opportunity she gave him to work with her; and bitterly regretting his decision.
Burden of Regret
The burden of regret of what should have been done, versus what was done; what was said and not said; the regret of not protecting or supporting a person creates shame that is not easily shaken; guilt over what was done intentionally to hurt another person, over and over, until a person finally walked away, without a safety net. It is through the toughest of times, that a person’s character is tested.
What is someone willing to do, when all has been lost, when people have left their life? The only answer is to pick up the pieces, continue moving forward, persisting, and intensely focusing on getting back on their feet again. This does not require anything but hard-core determination, will, and supernatural strength. What would you do? Losing everything would make most people panic, would exhaust their resources to find the next plan, some may even become physically ill. Catharsis comes in all forms, however, so do addictions.
What are you doing today to heal yourself from the past, stay present with what you are doing today, so that those seeds you are planting now, can sprout in the future harvest?
In tune individuals sense their environment by – thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing and sensing. This naturally and substantially increases your situational awareness when you are tuned into your environment. When you are by yourself out in public, it is important to stand tall, shoulders back, hands out of your pockets, look people in the eye, and acknowledge them with a “Hello,” to reduce victimization.
Eye contact and speaking allows the other person to see you are confident, and now that you got a good look at them, identified. It’s not enough to raise your voice, interrupt, make empty and ambiguous threats about how you are going to protect, as doing so can easily lead to provocation, one-upmanship, bullying and sooner than later, losing one’s temper to appear to gain the upper hand. A woman will lose faith in a man’s ability to protect her when he lacks self-control.
When we listen intuitively to what our body tells us, and we keep on listening to it, we will continue to get those messages. But, if we ignore those messages, and do so repeatedly, our intuition fades to a whisper and then silence. Intuition can start out subtle, so take the slightest message into consideration. When it wants to warn you, it will direct your decisions, leading and guiding you to the next best right decision.
(This is a work of fiction. Any names or characters, business or places, events or incidents are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.)
PC: DigitalSoul
