According to the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of a victim that causes them to question their own thoughts by constantly invalidating their perception of reality and memories. This systematic form of manipulation occurs over time to break the will, spirit or confidence of a victim to create uncertainty, doubt and insecurity, leading others to believe (and the victim) that they are crazy, incompetent, and mentally unstable. This forces the victim to be dependent and solely rely on the manipulator as the one source for information.
When someone denies the truth, it doesn’t mean the truth doesn’t exist. Denial is a way to escape accountability, culpability and consequences of actions. This unhealthy form of communication sets the stage for manipulation, domination and control. The long-term effects for the victim can lead to doubt and insecurity.
When people have been lied to many times, by the same person, trust wanes. Hearing absurd lies, caught telling contradictions, then numerous little lies, creates an uneasy and disconcerting atmosphere. The gaslighter continues to discredit the victim. People hear conflicting stories and don’t know what to believe.
Maintain control through manipulation
Misleading a victim to believe they are incompetent, crazy or unstable, would be a gross exaggeration of the lengths a person will go to to prevent the victim from succeeding in a career, leaving a marriage, accepting a promotion or leaving a particular group. Being able to control a victim can keep a person stuck with no way out. When the gaslighter recognizes that the victim is fighting against the lies and standing up for themselves, it becomes evident that they will not be manipulated. What follows is a drastic and desperate attempt of the gaslighter to alter the perceptions of others in the same fashion with lying, deceiving and slandering.
All of this is an attempt to stymie the victim’s progress to find a job, have the financial means to support themselves, and attempt to have a normal life. The victims desire to separate from or move forward can cause the gaslighter to experience a personal crisis that can evolve into a psychotic episode. High emotions of not wanting to be alone, and the engagement in self-destructive behaviors can result due to an extreme fear of abandonment and rejection.
What do law enforcement, attorneys and judges need to recognize and understand? The perpetrator will say anything to deny culpability and consequences of actions. It is not uncommon to:
Hear about an assault on a victim attempting to leave, An episode of rage that results in bodily harm, denying that their part in an assault “wasn’t that bad or they didn’t hit them that hard,” accusing the victim of having “these episodes in the past, been in trouble before, threatened in the past with bodily harm.”
What the wise will do
The wise begin to wonder why this drama was created, why is a victim is being slandered, what has happened and what was found out, who has what evidence collected, and what documentation has been recorded? Is this a red herring (a piece of information intended to mislead or distract)? Questioning, pondering and theorizing will lead the analysis to some type of discovery such as an illicit activity, the discovery of multiple felonies, involvement in drug/sex trafficking, a marital affair or something more sinister such as premeditation.
A wise person will know that something deceitful and manipulative is occurring. They will know to question and confirm what they are hearing, by a wise source. It is a red flag when a person goes out of their way to contact law enforcement or an attorney to garner support to rally against the victim to run them out of town. Good, honest people don’t go around backstabbing and slandering. Soon, the wise will confront them with the truth. The wise will know that someone, somewhere caught them and has evidence. Evidence that can put them in prison for years, if not life. Evidence that will destroy the life they carefully wove to deceive, divide, divert and discourage. Word spreads and people become very wise to the gaslighter. People become suspicious.
Isolation
Gaslighters will find ways to manipulate other people’s perception by leading them to support the story they created in their delusional mind.
They will tell the recipient things like:
“Everyone thinks you are crazy or wrong."
“Even your aunt thinks you’re difficult to get along with."
"We know you are dumb."
"You are easily fooled and manipulated."
"They are a pistol and easily offended.”
Not only is this damaging, but the recipient is made to believe that there is no one to support or trust them. Which could most likely be the case. Who then, do you go to for help? This isolation from family and friends allows the gaslighter to have more control over what you do, who you talk to, who you have as friends, and where you go. The lies from gaslighting can create a hostile work environment contributing to ostracization or bullying. This makes the recipient feel uneasy and disconcerted, even at places the victim once felt safe and secure. Gang stalking and harassment can follow when a whole community or county believes and enables the lies the gaslighter spreads as part of a vicious smear campaign. When it reaches this level, the recipient either isolates themselves and finds work to do from home or relocates to another city.
In the workplace
A high conflict personality may set an impossible standard by stating that competency is only measured by the perception of coworkers. By obtaining others support of this theory, it is believed as true and the systematic take down of your reputation begins. Remember, reputation is what others think of you and can be tarnished by allegations, however, character is who and what you are, your dependability, honesty, trustworthiness or your ethical and moral attitudes.
Individuals who have high conflict people in their life need not fret, as eventually the truth will surface. Once the gaslighter is found out, those that were manipulated by lies and deceit will recognize the distorted lens of reality that they were made to believe. Gang or group stalking is very difficult to recover from, and trauma can result usually in the form of PTSD. If they choose to, relationships can be repaired and healing can begin. It usually begins with, “I made a mistake….”
Trust is earned over time. Relationships can be rebuilt. It takes time to feel secure and safe after this kind of trauma. Each has been manipulated, both persons foundation of trust has been destroyed, both have been deceived. The experience of this life lesson, if lessons were learned, can then be filed in the bank of wisdom. Eventually, lessons will be learned, and each person, hopefully, will not fall prey to the predatory nature of the gaslighter.
(Source: psycom.net, merckmanuals.com.)
(This is a work of fiction. Any names or characters, business or places, events or incidents are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.)
PC: Izoboky
