It was during an existential crisis, finding purpose and meaning became tantamount to my existence. In other words, my position in the world seemed to came to a conclusive end. All this striving, achieving, accomplishing, ideas, business plans, and attaining goals suddenly didn’t seem worth it. What was the point of all of it? Was I doing it for me or someone else? To receive yet another accolade or praiseworthy award? What was the point? Each time I came up with the answer, I said, so what’s the point? Eventually, I came to the answer of my mere existence. My purpose is to exist? Why? Who cares? There had to be a reason bigger than me to have been put on this earth. I turned to scripture and saw the verses that explained I was here for a purpose; however, the answers were inside me, not some guru or another enlightened, spiritually advanced being.
Everyone has a reason for living, not just existing. I found the reason for me, and it required changing parts of me to get back on track. When things didn’t seem to be working out, my efforts failing, one obstacle after another, more opposition, plans of the devil to foil, it gets tiring, exhausting. I envisioned myself wrapped up in a suit of armor. Looks like I need a new sword. Fighting battles no one knows about, the constant challenges every day had me on my knees. There I was, knee deep in mud, in the dark.
Determined to rise, yet losing the will to live. What I did discover - I have the will to fight to protect my rights. And, if I could do that for me, I would certainly do it for others. It required seeking God’s will, not mine, his understanding, not mine, to pursue a career that protected the rights of others.
Changing course from achieving, seeking and accomplishing goals to attaining higher states of consciousness through meditation to seek God. To find him. The search was agonizing. I knew he was with me all the time, that he never left me, but I couldn’t hear or sense him. It scared me because he wasn’t speaking. I was panicking that I lost him. It had been months. Then, there it was, his still, small voice. Breathing a sigh of relief, I knew I’d be ok. The spiritual crisis was over. That was my experience.
Ikigai is a concept from the Japanese that shows you how to live with motivation and resilience during times of chaos and hardship, streamlining your path to self-actualization. Some argue that this is not the correct diagram, however, I’m sure if you worked with an Ikigai Coach, they may show you something different. Photo credit: (ikigai) Performance Excellence Network
When is the Ikigai used? After graduating law school, feeling stuck in life, after the death of a parent or spouse, the diagnosis of a fatal illness, limiting time outside due to medical or health limitations.
How to analyze your current choices, beliefs and expectations? Investigate, are you happy right now? Is this the best choice for my life? Who am I doing it for – me or someone else? Am I doing it because it is the expectation of someone else or because I really, really want to do it? Look at your lifestyle, if you are married or single, living with roommates or by yourself, your career, the kind of car you drive, the area you live in – rural, city or suburbs. Analyze every part of your life. This takes time, over a few weeks, with going back and forth, editing, cutting, adding, changing, altering. Ask yourself if you are utilizing your talents, skills, abilities in the best possible way? Are people benefiting from your abilities?
Know that change is coming. It can come in the form of relocation to another city, changing careers, going from a corporate job to entrepreneurship, from married to single or vice versa, living in the country versus the suburbs, from a single-family home to a high-rise condo in a metro city. It can be a hallway filled with doors of opportunity. Start knocking. Completely changing the people you spend the most time with to others who are on a different frequency of thought. You know, “make new friends but keep the old.” In order to change, you have to be willing to let go of the old you, and usher in the change that is coming in – the new you. But, it requires trading in your old life for the new. It can be a difficult and tremendous change, especially when you know that you will need to leave many behind. Not everyone will be happy for the change in you, but you are making you happy, not them. You have to find a reason for yourself to not just exist, but to live.
At the onset of a sudden: separation, abandonment, death or loss, the diagnosis of a fatal disease, to discovering that you only have a few weeks to live, to injuries from a car accident that abruptly changes your lifestyle requiring around the clock medical care, and long term disability. The foreclosure on a house, the disappearance of a relative, the death of a parent. Any of these abrupt changes can pull the rug out. Any of them are earth-shattering events and situations that can send you into a tailspin. Yet, there is a reason for your existence, even in the depth of your despair, you have a purpose. You have someone to encourage, enlighten, teach, demonstrate strength to, fight for. Even if you don’t see it now, your legacy will continue on long after you pass away. People of today may not receive the message, that’s ok, look at it in terms of teaching future generations.
Also recognize that these sudden events can bring about an uprooting, an unveiling or uncovering of gifts, talents and abilities that have been covered up until now. Like a piece of dusty furniture. Once you dust it off, you see what was really underneath. You not only underestimated yourself, others will find out they underestimated you. With practice, you can become better, learn advanced techniques and continue to improve upon what you know, allowing others with the same gifts and talents to help you become advanced in your skills.
During your journey of discovery of yourself, you will find that you come to the crossroads of decision in which you have a choice to stay where you are at or move in a different direction. There will be turning points, deal-breakers that you will no longer allow in your life, things you will no longer put up with, difficult decisions to make – however – no one can make those decisions for you. You are in the driver’s seat; only you know what will make you happy. Every decision made has a consequence, so think it through thoroughly before pursing it. Though there are no bad decisions, you can always make another decision.
Spend time alone meditating, employing yogic exercises, deeper states of meditation through various forms of breathwork and transcendental meditation. Fasting, spending time in the wilderness, studying the concepts of spiritual teachers to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, the world and your purpose. Look for care and concern outside of yourself to lead you to your purpose.
Grappling and wrestling with the toiling and laboring each day, only to repeat this circular and repetitive action results in repetition, increasing monotony, thus becoming trapped in meaninglessness. Who wants to be stuck in loneliness? Discipline yourself to uncover a new mindset so that you can heal yourself.
Employing these concepts and questions will help you to find the answers to your Ikigai. Know that it will take some time as being programmed from a young age can take some undoing. This is for your benefit.
