Some people go to great lengths to break up a marriage because of their interest in one of the spouses. Young people are easily manipulated, gaslit and fooled. They will make friends with the enemy, who is driving a wedge between them and their spouse. And when that person comes to them with lies that the spouse has been disloyal and dishonest, cheating on them at every opportunity, they believe the wedge driver.
After the couple separates, the wedge driver tells the husband, he lied about the wife’s fidelity. The spouse had been honest about their whereabouts and not once cheated. I believe the words were: “loyal AF!” The husband was floored and full of rage. He said, “why would you lie to me?” The wedge driver said simply, “I wanted her for myself.”
After finding out the truth, he thinks back through all the wonderful years of their married life together, how they always worked things out, their happy memories, how he trusted her and felt that God gave her to him as a gift. He remembers wiping a tear from his eye at the altar. Instead, he blew it. He lost everything – the house, his business, their marriage, his best friend. He was hell bent on destroying her because of someone else's lies.
Things get ugly. Things get nasty. However, the spouse is expecting this. The spouse is expecting that friends will turn on her. The husband threw her under the bus and blacklisted her to the police to report a crime that occurred on her property. She knew this was going to happen, and was able to obtain the right attorneys at the right time to protect herself and her assets. She had a job waiting for her, a new home and a new car.
Now that the wedge driver has separated the couple, he proposes to the wife. She tells him she has no feelings for him, in fact, she sees him as a father figure because he has treated her like a daughter. He is taken by surprise, is so heartbroken and devastated that he dies from a massive heart attack.
Some people never learn what a wedge driver is. A wedge driver can come in as an employee who throws a spouse or long time business partner under the bus, claiming incompetence and incapability. The wedge driver is successful in getting the boss to believe this and holds the partner or spouse back from career and training opportunities. When she moves on, he does not give her a good review, his words undermining her skills and abilities. He tries to “help” her find a job, but slanders her to potential firms excited to hire her. The offers’ she received are now met with ghosting.
The second wedge driver is another coworker whom he allows to make threats towards the employee's career with allegations of mental inculpabilities. Several other employees join in on the allegations. She resigns from her position and puts distance between her, her previous employer and coworkers.
The third wedge driver comes at Christmastime. The consequences are severe, with life changing alterations.
Yet, he continues to side with the wedge drivers, the accusers. Not once has he ever stood up for her, had her back, was a support to her when she needed him most. He didn’t protect her, nor did he make her feel safe. He didn’t show care and concern when she needed it the most.
His personality begins to change. In the process of believing the manipulations of wedge drivers, he destroyed his marriage through his insecurities and doubts, his lack of trust, suspicion and paranoia. He no longer trusts her. He begins drinking heavily. The whites of his eyes become yellow.
Eventually, his behavior gives him away as he starts acting recklessly, doing drugs and soon is addicted. The behavioral red flags show him threatening people with scary comments. He is kicked off public and political forums for his increasingly hostile and aggressively accusatory speech. Unusual people show up in cars out in front of the house. Prowlers come around in the middle of the night, some stealing items from the yard and garage. Neighbors start to wonder what is going on.
A new wedge driver arrives, a potential affair partner. This new person has a lengthy criminal record, a disreputable female blond. She tries to befriend the wife; however, the wife knows her history and sets boundaries to keep her away. The blonde manipulates him into committing a crime or furthering a scheme; they both are arrested shortly thereafter.
This person does not learn from the same life lesson. Obviously, it is important.
This person feels that because they are older, they can pick out these wedge drivers due to their age and life experience. They feel that because they have been in the work world for decades, they are business savvy, they are not gullible, too trusting or foolish. Yet, the same scenarios, the same type of people, the same kind of comments, allegations, and slander resurface over and over. These types of people come in different capacities: a mother, a friend, long-time business partner, a neighbor, a contractor, a random stranger, kids in the neighborhood, siblings, in-laws and homeless people living in the woods. Who do you know that hasn’t learned their life lesson, and continues to make the same mistakes over and over again?
PC: Ivan Marjanovik
